Tag: marriage problems
How Do I Get My Husband To Love Me Again?
His Love And Desire Has GoneAuthor: +Freddie Cook
The passage of time affects everything, and marriages are no different. It’s quite common for a couple to drift apart without even noticing it happen.
It’s so gradual that it just sneaks up on you.
Life gets in the way and leads you both in different directions.
Of course, that’s not the only reason that leaves you wanting to know how you can rekindle all that lost love and passion you both used to have.
Other things can happen, like infidelity or allowing arguing or fighting to become a habit instead of effective communication.
Whatever the reason, you have come to the point where you think your husband has fallen out of love with you, or maybe has lost his desire for you.
In either case, it’s left you feeling alone and confused and now you are asking yourself, how can I turn it all around and get my husband to love me again?
Many women, just like you, are asking themselves the same questions. Or they have asked themselves these questions and are struggling to find the answers.
While every situation and all circumstances are different, there are some common elements to “lost love” in a relationship.
But before we talk about lost love, first ask yourself, are you sure that your husband doesn’t love you anymore?
Has he told you so?
If he’s behaving strangely or acting different, this does not necessarily mean he is not in love with you anymore, although it most likely means he’s also questioning himself about the matter.
Before you go on trying to win back your husband’s love, make sure that you have lost it in the first place, or your efforts may only backfire.
In many cases, in order to get your husband’s love back, you first need to work on yourself.
Have you been neglecting yourself and putting the needs of your kids and husband first?
That’s very common. Of course, your kids come first, but you also need to dedicate some time for yourself.
This goes both ways of course. Husbands very often get caught up in their own lives, work and interests and it’s not your fault at all. But, sometimes you can help even when it is your husband’s fault.
Encouragement can go a long way in most circumstances.
If you’ve put on some extra pounds, make a plan to eat more healthy meals or get in a little exercise, and take them off.
Take the time to dress in clothes that flatter you and make you feel good about yourself. Go out with the girls every once in a while and let your husband take care of the kids.
Do what you need to do to get your “mojo” back. It’s important that you feel good about yourself.
You may be surprised at how just a little bit of self-awareness will get you in terms of feeling more confident and therefore looking more attractive. As you’re going through your make-over, try to distance yourself from your husband.
Of course if you are living in separate households, this is easier. However, if you are still under the same roof, just go on about your life in a detached manner.
Don’t be mean or cold. Be friendly and positive, but just minimize your contact with your husband.
This newer you (really, it’s the older you) will also spark more interest from your husband. The real you is the person he fell in love with in the first place.
So, if you’ve been asking yourself, “how do I get my husband to love me again”, start by asking yourself, “what can I do for myself… now”?
How To Save Your Marriage...
Don’t Wait To Fix Your Marriage
Mending A Broken RelationshipAuthor: +Freddie Cook
Marriage, like your health or your car, sometimes needs a little maintenance to keep everything running smoothly. When essential repairs get overlooked or put on the back burner, things break.
The problem with fixing your marriage is that problems often go completely undetected for years.
It’s also very seldom that one single problem can cause a marriage to breakup. It’s more common for a lot of unseen problems, that have been building up for a significant amount of time, are suddenly compounded with a more serious problem and then suddenly the divorce court is on the horizon.
So, what are some reasons you might have to fix your marriage?
It does not matter how long a couple has been married, problems can arise at any time. If life gets in the way, the two of you need to stop and take a step back. Take some time to re-evaluate the things that are important in your lives.
The most important factor in any relationship is the ability of the two people involved to communicate effectively.
It’s normal for couples in a marriage to communicate less as the marriages ages. Important things are left unsaid. Personal likes and dislikes become hidden and forgotten from each other simply because repeating them has become tedious and nothing ever changed anyway.
Communication becomes a dialog about inconsequential things instead of being more significant. And when communication breaks down further the relationship is in trouble.
Ineffective communication can lead to misunderstandings. Misunderstandings can lead to hurt feelings and resentments. Hurt feelings and resentments can lead to divorce.
So if you do not want to give all of your money to a couple of lawyers you need to learn how to fix your marriage.
The first thing you need to do is to figure out what has gone wrong, including all the little problems that don’t seem to matter, and work together to identify them and then fix them. So, if you can stand to be in the same room with each other, make plans to sit down and talk.
Have a notepad and pen available so you can each write down what your perceptions are about your relationship and when you think things began to go wrong and why. When your lists are made, compare them.
In doing this you can start to gather some insight into how your partner’s feelings, concerns hopes and desires differs from yours. These differences should help open the lines of communication and get you both talking and working together to rebuild your relationship and the love.
You might find you both slip into the blame game. This is not about apportioning blame or recriminations. It’s about honesty and rebuilding your connections with each other. So avoid finding fault with your partner and blaming them for the decline in your relationship.
You might consider marriage therapy as a way of getting to the root of your relationship problems. That is what they are expert at. They are trained and they are discrete, confidentiality is assured.
It is not a weakness to ask for, or receive, help. So take it if that is what you need to fix your marriage.
The longer you allow the problems in your marriage to keep building, the longer it will take to fix those problems and find the right solutions. Do Something about it sooner rather than later.
How To Save Your Marriage...