Tag: fix relationship
How Do I Get My Husband To Love Me Again?
His Love And Desire Has GoneAuthor: +Freddie Cook
The passage of time affects everything, and marriages are no different. It’s quite common for a couple to drift apart without even noticing it happen.
It’s so gradual that it just sneaks up on you.
Life gets in the way and leads you both in different directions.
Of course, that’s not the only reason that leaves you wanting to know how you can rekindle all that lost love and passion you both used to have.
Other things can happen, like infidelity or allowing arguing or fighting to become a habit instead of effective communication.
Whatever the reason, you have come to the point where you think your husband has fallen out of love with you, or maybe has lost his desire for you.
In either case, it’s left you feeling alone and confused and now you are asking yourself, how can I turn it all around and get my husband to love me again?
Many women, just like you, are asking themselves the same questions. Or they have asked themselves these questions and are struggling to find the answers.
While every situation and all circumstances are different, there are some common elements to “lost love” in a relationship.
But before we talk about lost love, first ask yourself, are you sure that your husband doesn’t love you anymore?
Has he told you so?
If he’s behaving strangely or acting different, this does not necessarily mean he is not in love with you anymore, although it most likely means he’s also questioning himself about the matter.
Before you go on trying to win back your husband’s love, make sure that you have lost it in the first place, or your efforts may only backfire.
In many cases, in order to get your husband’s love back, you first need to work on yourself.
Have you been neglecting yourself and putting the needs of your kids and husband first?
That’s very common. Of course, your kids come first, but you also need to dedicate some time for yourself.
This goes both ways of course. Husbands very often get caught up in their own lives, work and interests and it’s not your fault at all. But, sometimes you can help even when it is your husband’s fault.
Encouragement can go a long way in most circumstances.
If you’ve put on some extra pounds, make a plan to eat more healthy meals or get in a little exercise, and take them off.
Take the time to dress in clothes that flatter you and make you feel good about yourself. Go out with the girls every once in a while and let your husband take care of the kids.
Do what you need to do to get your “mojo” back. It’s important that you feel good about yourself.
You may be surprised at how just a little bit of self-awareness will get you in terms of feeling more confident and therefore looking more attractive. As you’re going through your make-over, try to distance yourself from your husband.
Of course if you are living in separate households, this is easier. However, if you are still under the same roof, just go on about your life in a detached manner.
Don’t be mean or cold. Be friendly and positive, but just minimize your contact with your husband.
This newer you (really, it’s the older you) will also spark more interest from your husband. The real you is the person he fell in love with in the first place.
So, if you’ve been asking yourself, “how do I get my husband to love me again”, start by asking yourself, “what can I do for myself… now”?
How To Save Your Marriage...
Fix Relationship Problems Instead Of Divorce
Divorce Is Not The Only OptionAuthor: +Freddie Cook
Nobody enters into marriage wanting it to fail and is one of the many reasons that some couples don’t want the option of divorce when their relationship breaks down, they believe that divorce means failure.
There are some new and interesting statistics that show when divorce is not considered, couples can fix their relationship problems instead of divorce and end up with a much stronger marriage.
A survey of couples who had at one time considered divorce but then decided to try other methods, reported that 80 percent claimed they were still happily married years later.
Three possible reasons were cited.
First, because the couple decided to deal with their problems directly, it made them acknowledged their problems which encouraged them to find effective solutions to save their relationship and their marriage.
Second, as soon as divorce is discussed between a couple, the entire dynamic of the relationship changes. This can be very positive and spur the couple to search for a better alternative, or it can be negative and drive a wedge between the couple.
Third, it’s also possible for, at least one of, the couple to view divorce as a way of avoiding the real problems, and seeing divorce as a quick and easy solution. An appealing alternative for some.
However, those who did not even consider a divorce may find some success because they’re forced to deal with their problems, and possibly find a constructive solution and common ground.
Although this can be hard work and is not as easy as a divorce appears to be in fixing problems, working together and facing issues can be much more rewarding.
If you’re having problems in your relationship and considering divorce then take some time to try and find alternative methods of dealing with your issues, ones that promote fixing the problems by open and honest communication.
If you’re both finding that difficult, then you might want to look into marriage counseling.
Marriage counseling may not be for everyone, but there’s no denying how effective they are at helping couples resolve their differences.
Don’t just write them off, use them if you need to, it has to be preferable over the pain and effort involved in divorcing your spouse.
Once the word gets out that you’re having relationship problems, you’ll most likely find advice coming from all corners. family, friends, even people you work with will all have an opinion.
The problem is that very few, if any, of them will have the training and experience required to give any real help. Well meaning as they are, you’ll be much better off seeking some professional help.
As I said, divorce can be seen as a quick fix to some people, but this is rarely the case and more often it can simply add to your problems rather than fixing them.
While you appreciate the support and advice offered by your friends, just remember that this is your marriage, not theirs.
So try and fix your relationship problems instead of divorce by removing it as an option. Work through your problems together, with or without professional help, and you’ll come out the other end with a true and stronger marriage built on love and a desire to remain together.
Communication with understanding and a willingness to compromise will benefit both of you and help you to succeed.
The Vital Step to Restoring Your Marriage
There are two crucial things you need to start doing immediately if you want to finally save your marriage and restore happiness in your life.
These two things are absolutely essential if you’re still continuously arguing and bickering with your spouse. The fighting doesn’t have to continue any longer. Take action with these simple steps right now.
How To Save Your Marriage...
How To Get Your Wife To Come Back
Just Change Her MindAuthor: +Freddie Cook
How to get your wife to come back depends even more on you than it does on your wife. When any marriage gets into difficulties to the extent of a spouse leaving, it can be devastating to both partners.
Neither of them have any confidence in their future, either together or apart. Confusion is typical at this time and thoughts keep going round in circles without getting anywhere.
So, concentrate on what you know instead of the unknown and you’ll be able to see things a little clearer.
You’re ability to get to the bottom of the problems that caused your wife to leave is paramount to being successful in getting her back.
Honesty is going to play a major part in this as you’re going to have to discover and admit to whatever part you played in your breakup. Even if infidelity was involved.
You won’t be able to work on your relationship until your wife comes home, so in the mean time, you should work on yourself and the problems that caused your breakup.
Having a plan is crucial, both for now and when your wife does return. For now, it’s important that you are sincere and truthful, work on changing you, there was something about you that your wife eventually could no longer tolerate.
Find out exactly what it was and take steps to fix it. This isn’t about manipulation or only paying lip service to making changes, it’s about taking stock of the person you are and what areas of your personality and behavior you need to change.
Remember you’re not just making changes to keep your wife happy, you’re making changes that need to be made for you to become a better person and a better husband.
Having given honest consideration to these things before your wife comes home will mean that you don’t just repeat the same hurtful and destructive behaviors that caused her to leave in the first place.
You don’t want to have a relationship that is turbulent where you are constantly fighting about the same things. That type of relationship isn’t good for anyone.
Now that you have honestly accepted that there are some changes you will need to make, it’s time to figure out how to get your wife to come home.
With clearer mind you can now get to work and prepare for your wife’s return. Don’t be a slob. Keep yourself and the house clean. Shower, shave, do the laundry, etc. Your wife should be able to walk back in the front door with nothing to do.
She sure isn’t going to want to come back home if she feels like she is just going to have to be the maid. No woman wants to have to be a mother to her own husband. Most woman want a friend, a partner, and a lover.
Let her see that even though you miss her, you respect her enough to keep up with the housework even when you’re on your own.
Now you’re going to need some way of convincing your wife that you still love her and there is hope for your relationship and that she should return home to allow you both to work on it.
To that end, you should first let her know that you’ve been honest with yourself and realize that there are things in your behavior that you are willing, and able, to change.
There will be no point in being vague, so spell these things out to her so that she’ll know you are a sincere, mature man who wants to be a better man and a better husband and that you are willing to work on those things.
If she has real reason to believe things can be different this time she’ll be more likely to return home and give it a try.
If you’re in the wrong, admit it and apologize. Many men get caught up in the macho idea that apologizing is a sign of weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth.
If you screw up and admit it and apologize, that is actually a sign of confidence, strength, and maturity. Admitting when you are wrong and offering a sincere apology not only lets others know that you are a mature, confidant person, it also shows that you have respect for yourself and for them.
The reality is that people who won’t apologize are actually very weak and insecure. They are too unsure of themselves to be able to admit they were wrong.
When you’re confident enough in yourself to offer a sincere apology it shows that you are a strong, confident individual…and that is sexy to any woman.
I hope these tips have given you some ideas on how to be more successful with, “how to get your wife to come back.” The point is that if you truly want your marriage to work you need to be willing to work on yourself first and then concentrate on your wife and your relationship together.
How To Save Your Marriage...
Is Infidelity Destroying Your Marriage?
How To Cure Cheating ProblemsAuthor: +Freddie Cook
What is infidelity? Well, there are many ways of describing what an extramarital affair is, but one that has stuck in my mind is, “A spouse ducking their responsibilities by seeking refuge and solace with someone else.”
I remember it because it made me think of cheating in a different light.
Most people have a different view of adultery, like discovering a new love that takes the place of the old love, or rediscovering the excitement of being with someone new, or even simply… Sex.
But describing it as, “A spouse ducking their responsibilities by seeking refuge and solace with someone else,” puts a different slant on it.
It suggests that the cheater is trying to escape something. It also suggests that they are looking for comfort.
The point I’m trying to make is, extramarital affairs don’t destroy marriages, it’s the reason behind the affair that does.
And that reason could be almost anything. Each marriage is different because each couple, and how they react with each other, is different.
In this case the reason caused an affair, but if it hadn’t been an affair it would have been something else. Just something to bear in mind.
So, why is it that infidelity is reported as being one of the biggest causes of divorce?
Because, extramarital affairs are a betrayal of trust, love and commitment. It involves secrets, lies and deceit. A marriage is supposed to be a union of two lives, two people bonded together for a lifetime, and the introduction of a third person breaking that bond is one of the most difficult things to overcome.
In a marriage, infidelity can be purely physical, purely emotional, or both.
A physical affair has no emotional involvement, it’s simply sex.
An emotional affair has no physical sexual involvement, it’s interacting with someone outside the marriage at an inappropriately intimate level. They are sharing details of their lives that should be restricted to sharing only with their spouse.
Emotional infidelity has become an even more serious problem in the last few decades. One of the reasons cited for this is because workplaces, one of our prime social engagements in modern times, have become increasingly more mixed.
It has also become far easier to communicate with people on a secretive level. Email, instant messaging and texting have all made it easier to bond with people at a level that demands secrecy. While this isn’t the cause of emotional infidelity, it can be a factor.
Physical infidelity has also become easier. Spending more time apart has become the normal for a lot of couples, it is not uncommon to spend the majority of time at work, which supplies a very handy excuse when engaged in adulterous pursuits.
However, infidelity is a choice. It doesn’t just happen.
Even a brief affair, a one night fling when too much alcohol, or something similar, is the excuse, it doesn’t just happen. Sure, their normal guard is down, but that is still just an excuse.
It’s the reason behind the infidelity that is important, because it’s the reason that will determine whether you can fix your relationship to the point of regaining a successful and loving marriage, or watch it be destroyed.
Apportioning blame is always very easy. But it’s not always correct.
Until the reason for the extramarital affair is uncovered, there is little chance of putting the blame where it truly belongs.
Is infidelity destroying your marriage? Or is it something else?
How To Save Your Marriage...