It might seem to be an obvious question, “What is an affair?” But not all affairs are obvious, even when they are happening right out in the open…
Of course, the simple answer is, an affair is when someone is cheating on their spouse with another person.
But there are different forms of cheating.
Emotional infidelity, or an emotional affair, is when your partner is emotionally involved with another person outside of your relationship.
Your marriage has, or certainly should have, a lot more to it than sharing a bed and sex together. The emotional and caring side of any marriage is the glue that holds it together and helps you grow as a loving couple. A bond that connects you both together on many different levels.
Emotional infidelity is when your partner forms these same loving and caring bonds with someone else. There is no physical involvement, sex plays no part in this, which can make it difficult to deal with, or to put an end to it.
The emotional side is such a necessary part of a happy marriage, or any romantic relationship for that matter, that it’s often taken for granted, so much so that when it dwindles it often goes unnoticed initially.
A side effect of an emotional affair is that as the feelings in it increase, the feelings inside the marriage have a tendency to decrease leaving the unwitting spouse feeling neglected. This is one of the reasons why emotional infidelity is so devastating to a marriage.
You may feel like your partner is very openly pushing you to one side. While at the same time arguing, “There is nothing going on.”
This is the type of affair that most people think of when infidelity is the issue. Unlike emotional infidelity, that is often carried out in the open, it is usually very secretive in nature.
It can be anything from a visit with a prostitute or a one night chance encounter, all the way to a regular event that can go on for years.
It’s the lack of any emotional involvement that characterizes this form of affair. A serial adulterer would typify physical infidelity.
This is the one that is the most destructive to a marriage. It normally ends in divorce because all the emotional and physical needs are being met outside the marriage.
Indeed, all the love is usually transferred to the new person.
But sometimes love and infatuation get confused. The excitement and deep interest that someone new can generate is often mistakenly thought of as true love. Affairs in general tend to start off this way.
Is your spouse having an affair?
Have they had one and you’re struggling to understand and cope with it?
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