Has The Love And Desire Dwindled?

Author: +Freddie Cook

Love disappearing out of a relationship is one of those age old concerns. It’s always been a difficult part of marriages in particular. That’s mainly because marriages usually last for such long periods of time and gets bombarded by all the rigors that life throws at it.

Emotions, in general, are not static things and love is no different. But, the natural ebb and flow of our feelings is not really what is concerning us here.

There are so many problems that can get in the way of our love for each other that it’s a miracle any marriage ever survives at all. Everything from children to work and money can interfere with our love and normally caring attitude to each other.

Women in particular seem to be able to catch on to the disappearing love, at least they seem to notice it a lot quicker than men. So it ends up that it’s mainly women who seek the help needed to fix things when this happens.

To get an idea of just how many women need help with their relationship and ask the question: “how can I get my husband to fall in love with me again” just check out relationship forums and chat rooms online.

This is a very common problem in many types of long term relationships,not just marriage. Feeling unloved by your spouse can really mess with your head and cause you to struggle to find answers.

Even though it’s easy to want to fix it all by yourself (or take full responsibility for the problems in the first place) you have to be realistic.

You simply can’t do all the work yourself. Your marriage is a partnership and until or unless you are both on the same page it will be virtually impossible to make any significant changes in your relationship.

In many marriages, there is a slow and steady drifting away that goes on. Each partner slowly starts to drift away into their own life and their own concerns. If that is allowed to go on long enough both partners will ‘suddenly’ wake up to find that they are living with a stranger.

This is a very common issue, and it can be overcome.

It may sound like a cliche, since you’ve probably heard it many time before, but it’s true, day to day life can get in the way making it difficult for you and your spouse to really connect the way you used to. When you have kids, jobs, school, extended family, etc. to deal with it leaves precious little time to unwind and reconnect with each other.

To change this direction in your marriage the first thing you have to do is to establish new priorities. Obviously you can’t just ditch your kids, but most people can find more free time in their lives if they really try. Freeing up that time will give you and your hubby more time to reconnect with each other, and that is the first step to getting the love back.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she told me she hasn’t been sleeping well lately. When I asked her why she said that she has just taken on too much, she wants to help people so she volunteers to organizations.

That’s great, but it doesn’t have to be done. Carefully analyze your own life to see where you can make cuts so you can free up more time to spend with your husband, and have him do the same.

If things have really gotten bad don’t be afraid to go to a marriage counselor for help. It’s best if you both go but even if your hubby won’t go, go by yourself. A good counselor can pinpoint the issues as well as provide techniques to overcome those issues.

Just being able to spend time together and reconnect with each other can be enough to remind your husband of what a great person you are and how much he loves you. If you can’t manage that, or it’s not enough, then…

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