Mending A Broken RelationshipAuthor: +Freddie Cook
Marriage, like your health or your car, sometimes needs a little maintenance to keep everything running smoothly. When essential repairs get overlooked or put on the back burner, things break.
The problem with fixing your marriage is that problems often go completely undetected for years.
It’s also very seldom that one single problem can cause a marriage to breakup. It’s more common for a lot of unseen problems, that have been building up for a significant amount of time, are suddenly compounded with a more serious problem and then suddenly the divorce court is on the horizon.
So, what are some reasons you might have to fix your marriage?
It does not matter how long a couple has been married, problems can arise at any time. If life gets in the way, the two of you need to stop and take a step back. Take some time to re-evaluate the things that are important in your lives.
The most important factor in any relationship is the ability of the two people involved to communicate effectively.
It’s normal for couples in a marriage to communicate less as the marriages ages. Important things are left unsaid. Personal likes and dislikes become hidden and forgotten from each other simply because repeating them has become tedious and nothing ever changed anyway.
Communication becomes a dialog about inconsequential things instead of being more significant. And when communication breaks down further the relationship is in trouble.
Ineffective communication can lead to misunderstandings. Misunderstandings can lead to hurt feelings and resentments. Hurt feelings and resentments can lead to divorce.
So if you do not want to give all of your money to a couple of lawyers you need to learn how to fix your marriage.
The first thing you need to do is to figure out what has gone wrong, including all the little problems that don’t seem to matter, and work together to identify them and then fix them. So, if you can stand to be in the same room with each other, make plans to sit down and talk.
Have a notepad and pen available so you can each write down what your perceptions are about your relationship and when you think things began to go wrong and why. When your lists are made, compare them.
In doing this you can start to gather some insight into how your partner’s feelings, concerns hopes and desires differs from yours. These differences should help open the lines of communication and get you both talking and working together to rebuild your relationship and the love.
You might find you both slip into the blame game. This is not about apportioning blame or recriminations. It’s about honesty and rebuilding your connections with each other. So avoid finding fault with your partner and blaming them for the decline in your relationship.
You might consider marriage therapy as a way of getting to the root of your relationship problems. That is what they are expert at. They are trained and they are discrete, confidentiality is assured.
It is not a weakness to ask for, or receive, help. So take it if that is what you need to fix your marriage.
The longer you allow the problems in your marriage to keep building, the longer it will take to fix those problems and find the right solutions. Do Something about it sooner rather than later.
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