Does He Fail To Hear You?Author: +Freddie Cook
It’s all too common these days, ask most unhappily married women, “Does your husband ignore your needs?” And the answer will most likely be, “Yes!”
It probably even goes deeper than that and they feel they are ignored completely.
Marriage is an equal partnership, or is supposed to be. It’s built on mutual love and respect. A life being shared together.
When one spouse is being excluded then the partnership is no longer working. The relationship gets out of balance and it leads to frustration and resentment. Being taken for granted is the usual description, but it’s not the most realistic one. It’s a lonely and sad place to be with feelings of rejection and not being good enough.
So, if you are tired of enduring a relationship with a man who ignores you, and you want to avoid the breakup or divorce, then now is the time to take stock of your situation and make some changes. If you want to rekindle the love and respect within your marriage and make it work because you still love your husband then you might find it a bit challenging.
It can be done but, depending on your husband’s disposition and commitment, it make take a while. But rest assured, the power lies with you because now is the time you get to make all the choices… if you’re prepared to.
This is going to sound strange, particularly as your husband is ignoring you, but communication is the key here. You’re going to have to find a quiet uninterrupted time together and gently, without any accusations, tell him that you are feeling ignored and neglected.
What happens next will depend on his reactions, he may take a defensive stance and make pursuing the issue any further a complete waste of time. It would just turn into an argument with you ending up feeling more hurt and rejected than you already do.
On the other hand, he may genuinely be surprised by what you’ve just revealed. It’s quite possible that he hadn’t realized he’d been taking you so much for granted. Life can become very routine at times. If this is the case, then be calm and reassuring when you discuss what you can both do together to get things right again.
Even so, it’s still likely that you may have a job on your hands convincing your husband why you feel this way. He is just as likely to tell you that you don’t have enough to do in your life as he is to really understand that his interests have completely taken over and relegated you to the sidelines.
Don’t be tempted to carry on the discussion to try and convince him to accept your point of view, it’s unlikely this will succeed and is more likely to end in a fight. But, don’t give up entirely, you’ll just have to resort to changing things on your own. Besides, it’s not that hard to do.
Win win situations are always the best option to choose and this is one of them.
Relationships are a lesson in compromise. Whenever we enter into a new relationship, especially if it ends up a long term one, we change. We don’t just change once, but continually throughout the life of the relationship.
Our habits, aspirations, desires, needs and feelings end up different to those we had before we got together with this new person. Some things will survive the transition, but we will lose a lot and gain a lot of other things in their place.
So what were your dreams and interests?
What have you given up over the years?
Who was it your husband fell in love with in the first place?
This is the win win bit. Recapture a piece of your past. Be that captivating woman you were again. Not just to gain his attention, but for your own confidence and independence. Remember all those interests you used to have, people you used to hang with, places you liked to go and all the other bits that have changed in the intervening years.
You need to raise your confidence in yourself, and you have to feel that you are attractive. If you need to work on your health and fitness levels to give you that confidence and attractiveness again then that’s another win win situation to concentrate on.
There’s a site I’ve been using for years now that covers health and fitness very well. It’s not all about exercise either, for instance here’s an article “The DIRTY truth about canola oil” that’ll illustrate what I mean. Not everything advertised AS healthy really IS healthy.
Anyway, forget about your husband and his all consuming interests. It’s your passions you want to focus on. And when you do, you’ll start enjoying life again. Sure, you’ll very likely capture his full attention in the process, but that no longer has to be your goal.
Right now the man you married is ignoring you and taking you for granted. You’ve become his doormat, but you don’t have to accept this state of affairs. You have the ability and the knowledge to change things. Focus on yourself and watch how quickly his attitude changes.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Conversely, saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married… if you handle things correctly.
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