He Has Cheated On You – Now What?Author: +Freddie Cook
Sure, you can survive his cheating – just forget his infidelity ever happened and carry on as though nothing has changed.
That, of course, is what HE would really love you to do.
But if you want your relationship to survive into the future then that would be the exact opposite of what really needs to happen.
Don’t give in to this option, you’d only become a patsy and be used again in the future. His mistakes have to be reconciled if you want to keep your relationship intact.
If you’ve both had a good and loving relationship up until his cheating occurred then you stand a good chance of resolving this issue. A lot of it depends on you though.
He will have guilt and probably a lot of shame to get over, but you will have an awful lot more.
You’re no doubt feeling hurt, confused and let down. A betrayal like cheating causes an awful lot of damage to a relationship, and to the person he cheated on… you in this case.
If he is truly remorseful, then forgiving him for betraying you is possible. But can you get past the images of the two of them together?
A lot of this depends on the nature of his infidelity.
Was it a chance encounter with a stranger that happened once and was never repeated?
Was it an affair that occurred over a lengthy period of time?
Was it with someone he knows well?
Was it with someone you new well?
All these things make a difference.
Is he willing to discuss everything about his affair with you? I know that you will have lots of very personal and intimate questions to ask. Will he answer them honestly and with enough detail to satisfy yourself?
Your confidence has very likely taken a huge hit.
Do you compare yourself to this other woman and wonder what she did for your boyfriend that you didn’t?
Do you wonder if he found her more attractive than you?
The point is, unless you can restore your confidence enough to believe in your own worth so that comparing yourself to his concubine isn’t necessary, then you are going to struggle with accepting his apology and being able to start trusting him again.
On the plus side, you have a shared history together. Probably a lot of your friends are now mutual friends. You’ll likely know each other’s families. You no doubt can still remember the love and fun you both shared before his cheating happened. These good times you both enjoyed should help with pulling you back together again.
There is a lot more to a relationship than sex.
If you can find out what is wrong in your relationship that may have had a bearing on his infidelity, then you can both work to fix that.
That may help you on the trust issue.
If you can work on yourself and your confidence, then that may help with the images and feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.
Relationships do survive an affair. Not all of them, but enough of them to give you hope if you really do want to fix your relationship.
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